I refuse to enter a wet T-Shirt Contest until my breasts look more like breasts, and less like something I read more

I refuse to enter a wet T-Shirt Contest until my breasts look more like breasts, and less like something I should tuck into my pants.

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

As regards rap music, I believe that the "c" is silent.

As regards rap music, I believe that the "c" is silent.

Sarcasm is the language of the devil, for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

Sarcasm is the language of the devil, for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of distinguished read more

It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of distinguished virtues.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. read more

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

To "leave a sting within a brother's heart.".

To "leave a sting within a brother's heart.".

A sneer is the weapon of the weak.

A sneer is the weapon of the weak.