The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential read more

The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential orifice, these pointless globes are as near as the human form can ever come to abstract art.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Art produces ugly things which frequently become more beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which read more

Art produces ugly things which frequently become more beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time.

Art is Man's nature. Nature is God's art.

Art is Man's nature. Nature is God's art.

Why should I paint dead fish, onions and beer glasses? Girls are so much prettier.

Why should I paint dead fish, onions and beer glasses? Girls are so much prettier.

Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.

Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.

You do have to be fairly selfish when you have a gift. You cannot afford to let too many outside read more

You do have to be fairly selfish when you have a gift. You cannot afford to let too many outside things get in the way.

My mother said to me, "If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, read more

My mother said to me, "If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope." Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Anyone who contributes to the defense fund
of pornographers is a mental moonbeam.

Anyone who contributes to the defense fund
of pornographers is a mental moonbeam.