One should never criticize his own work except in a fresh and hopeful mood. The self-criticism of a tired mind read more

One should never criticize his own work except in a fresh and hopeful mood. The self-criticism of a tired mind is suicide.

Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.

Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

With an apple I will astonish Paris.

With an apple I will astonish Paris.

The artist one day falls through a hole in the brambles, and from that moment he is following the dark read more

The artist one day falls through a hole in the brambles, and from that moment he is following the dark rapids of an underground river which may sometimes flow so near to the surface that the laughing picnic parties are heard above.

The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential read more

The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential orifice, these pointless globes are as near as the human form can ever come to abstract art.

Ads are the cave art of the twentieth century.

Ads are the cave art of the twentieth century.

So-called art restoration is at least as tricky as brain surgery. Most pictures expire under scalpel and sponge.

So-called art restoration is at least as tricky as brain surgery. Most pictures expire under scalpel and sponge.

A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.

A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.