A blond in a red dress can do without introductions -- but not without a bodyguard.

A blond in a red dress can do without introductions -- but not without a bodyguard.

As large as life, and twice as natural.

As large as life, and twice as natural.

It embarrasses me to think of all those years I was buying silk suits and alligator shoes that were hurting read more

It embarrasses me to think of all those years I was buying silk suits and alligator shoes that were hurting my feet; cars that I just parked, and the dust would just build up on them.

Think not I am what I appear.

Think not I am what I appear.

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a read more

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot.

Do not trust to the cheering, for those persons would shout as much if you and I were going to read more

Do not trust to the cheering, for those persons would shout as much if you and I were going to be hanged.

O wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursel's as ithers see us!
It wad read more

O wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursel's as ithers see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us.
And foolish notion;
What airs in dress and gait wad lea'e us,
And ev'n devotion!

There is nothing so agonizing to the fine skin of vanity as the application of a rough truth.

There is nothing so agonizing to the fine skin of vanity as the application of a rough truth.

All, as they say, that glitters is not gold.

All, as they say, that glitters is not gold.