The only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence.

The only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence.

Oh, powerful bacillus,
With wonder how you fill us,
Every day!
While medical detectives,
read more

Oh, powerful bacillus,
With wonder how you fill us,
Every day!
While medical detectives,
With powerful objectives,
Watch your play.

Use three Physicians,
Still-first Dr. Quiet,
Next Dr. Merry-man
And Dr. Dyet.

Use three Physicians,
Still-first Dr. Quiet,
Next Dr. Merry-man
And Dr. Dyet.

It is infinitely better to transplant a heart than to bury it so it can be devoured by worms.

It is infinitely better to transplant a heart than to bury it so it can be devoured by worms.

This is the way that physicians mend or end us,
Secundum artem: but although we sneer
In read more

This is the way that physicians mend or end us,
Secundum artem: but although we sneer
In health--when ill, we call them to attend us,
Without the least propensity to jeer.

Take a little rum
The less you take the better
Pour it in the lakes
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Take a little rum
The less you take the better
Pour it in the lakes
Of Wener or of Wetter.
Dip a spoonful out
And mind you don't get groggy,
Pour it in the lake
Of Winnipissiogie.
Stir the mixture well
Lest it prove inferior,
Then put half a drop
Into Lake Superior.
Every other day
Take a drop in water,
You'll be better soon
Or at least you oughter.

How the Doctor's brow should smile,
Crown'd with wreaths of camomile.

How the Doctor's brow should smile,
Crown'd with wreaths of camomile.

Better use medicines at the outset than at the last moment.

Better use medicines at the outset than at the last moment.

So modern 'pothecaries, taught the art
By doctor's bills to play the doctor's part,
Bold in the read more

So modern 'pothecaries, taught the art
By doctor's bills to play the doctor's part,
Bold in the practice of mistaken rules,
Prescribe, apply, and call their masters fools.