The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.

I have no race prejudice. I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed, I read more

I have no race prejudice. I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed, I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being -- that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. read more

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

I refuse to enter a wet T-Shirt Contest until my breasts look more like breasts, and less like something I read more

I refuse to enter a wet T-Shirt Contest until my breasts look more like breasts, and less like something I should tuck into my pants.

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Irony is an insult conveyed in the form of a compliment.

Irony is an insult conveyed in the form of a compliment.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.