Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in read more

Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner read more

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

Preaching is heady wine. It is pleasant to tell people where they get off.

Preaching is heady wine. It is pleasant to tell people where they get off.

I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to read more

I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do.

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

When you doubt, abstain.

When you doubt, abstain.

Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers.

Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers.

If "everybody knows" such-and-such, then it ain't so, by at least ten thousand to one.

If "everybody knows" such-and-such, then it ain't so, by at least ten thousand to one.

The inspiration of the Bible depends upon the ignorance of the gentleman who reads it.

The inspiration of the Bible depends upon the ignorance of the gentleman who reads it.