Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to read more

Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME!

It is worse than a crime: it is a mistake.

It is worse than a crime: it is a mistake.

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on read more

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date.

Patience is the virtue of an ass, who treads beneath his burden and complains not.

Patience is the virtue of an ass, who treads beneath his burden and complains not.

It's all happening too fast. I've got to put the brakes on or I'll smack into something.

It's all happening too fast. I've got to put the brakes on or I'll smack into something.

Whoever approaches Me walking, I will come to him running; and he who meets Me with sins equivalent to the read more

Whoever approaches Me walking, I will come to him running; and he who meets Me with sins equivalent to the whole world, I will greet him with forgiveness equal to it.

When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months read more

When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.

A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; read more

A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.

They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.

They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.