When my time on earth is gone, and my activities here are passed, I want they bury me upside down, read more

When my time on earth is gone, and my activities here are passed, I want they bury me upside down, and my critics can kiss my ass!

Who shall dispute what the Reviewers say?
Their word's sufficient; and to ask a reason,
In such read more

Who shall dispute what the Reviewers say?
Their word's sufficient; and to ask a reason,
In such a state as theirs, is downright treason.

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.

I never give them hell; I just tell them the truth and they think it is hell.

I never give them hell; I just tell them the truth and they think it is hell.

There are come Critics so with Spleen diseased,
They scarcely come inclining to be pleased:
And sure read more

There are come Critics so with Spleen diseased,
They scarcely come inclining to be pleased:
And sure he must have more than mortal Skill,
Who please one against his Will.

Blame is safer than praise.

Blame is safer than praise.

Some people are always critical of vague statements. I tend rather to be critical of precise statements; they are the read more

Some people are always critical of vague statements. I tend rather to be critical of precise statements; they are the only ones which can correctly be labeled "wrong.".

As soon
Seek roses in December--ice in June,
Hope, constancy in wind, or corn in chaff;
read more

As soon
Seek roses in December--ice in June,
Hope, constancy in wind, or corn in chaff;
Believe a woman or an epitaph,
Or any other thing that's false, before
You trust in critics.

A man must serve his time to every trade
Save censure--critics all are ready made.
Take hackney'd read more

A man must serve his time to every trade
Save censure--critics all are ready made.
Take hackney'd jokes from Miller, got by rote,
With just enough of learning to misquote;
A mind well skill'd to find or forge a fault;
A turn for punning, call it Attic salt;
To Jeffrey go, be silent and discreet,
His pay is just ten sterling pounds per sheet;
Fear not to lie, 'twill seem a lucky hit;
Shrink not from blasphemy, 'twill pass for wit;
Care not for feeling--pass your proper jest,
And stand a critic, hated yet caress'd.