William S. Gilbert

As innocent as a new-laid egg.

As innocent as a new-laid egg.

Bad language or abuse
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" read more

Bad language or abuse
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" I may
Occasionally say,
I never never use a big, big D.

For she is such a smart little craft,
Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
Such a read more

For she is such a smart little craft,
Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
Such a bright little,
Tight little,
Slight little,
Light little,
Trim little, slim little craft!

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.

Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream.

Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream.