William S. Gilbert

If you wish in this world to advance your merits you're bound to enhance; you must stir it and stump read more

If you wish in this world to advance your merits you're bound to enhance; you must stir it and stump it, and blow your own trumpet, or, trust me, you haven't a chance.

Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream.

Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream.

Bad language or abuse
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" read more

Bad language or abuse
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" I may
Occasionally say,
I never never use a big, big D.

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
read more

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule--
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee.

For she is such a smart little craft,
Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
Such a read more

For she is such a smart little craft,
Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
Such a bright little,
Tight little,
Slight little,
Light little,
Trim little, slim little craft!