Samuel Butler

The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may -make a fool of yourself with him and not only read more

The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may -make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

If he that in the field is slain
Be in the bed of honour lain,
He that read more

If he that in the field is slain
Be in the bed of honour lain,
He that is beaten may be said
To lie in Honour's truckle-bed.

For brevity is very good,
Where we are, or are not understood.

For brevity is very good,
Where we are, or are not understood.

And as the French we conquer'd once,
Now give us laws for pantaloons,
The length of breeches read more

And as the French we conquer'd once,
Now give us laws for pantaloons,
The length of breeches and the gathers
Port-cannons, periwigs, and feathers.

He was in Logic, a great critic,
Profoundly skill'd in Analytic;
He could distinguish, and divide
read more

He was in Logic, a great critic,
Profoundly skill'd in Analytic;
He could distinguish, and divide
A hair 'twixt south and south-west side.