Josh Billings

Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once.

Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once.

A slander is like a hornet; if you can't kill it dead the first time, better not strike at it.

A slander is like a hornet; if you can't kill it dead the first time, better not strike at it.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed read more

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.