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Maxioms by Johnny Carson

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The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide read more

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money

by Johnny Carson Found in: Separation Quotes,
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

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In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.

In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.

by Johnny Carson Found in: Men and women Quotes,
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Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

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Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the read more

Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!"

by Johnny Carson Found in: Storms Quotes,
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