Gracie Allen

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. [said when George Burns was only read more

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. [said when George Burns was only 64. He lived to be 100]

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a
half.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a
half.

I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the read more

I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.