Dave Attell

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people ""the cops."" But you know, sometimes, read more

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people ""the cops."" But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're read more

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? read more

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should read more

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin.