Ambrose Bierce

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich read more

Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

Patience, n. -- A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

Patience, n. -- A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's read more

ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father read more

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.