Woody Allen ( 10 of 60 )
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss read more
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a cross-roads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The read more
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a cross-roads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Ninety percent of success is showing up.
Ninety percent of success is showing up.
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
