Woody Allen ( 10 of 60 )
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
Not only is there no God, but trying getting a plumber on weekends.
Not only is there no God, but trying getting a plumber on weekends.
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going read more
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.
