Woody Allen ( 10 of 60 )
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
Ninety percent of success is showing up.
Ninety percent of success is showing up.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going read more
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Not only is there no God, but trying getting a plumber on weekends.
Not only is there no God, but trying getting a plumber on weekends.
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.
