Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

I am a fool, I know it; and yet, Heaven help me, I'm poor enough
to be a wit.

I am a fool, I know it; and yet, Heaven help me, I'm poor enough
to be a wit.

We grant, although he had much wit,
H' was very shy of using it,
As being loth read more

We grant, although he had much wit,
H' was very shy of using it,
As being loth to wear it out,
And therefore bore it not about;
Unless on holy days or so,
As men their best apparel do.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- read more

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing.

Irony is a disciplinarian feared only by those who do not know it, but cherished by those who do

Irony is a disciplinarian feared only by those who do not know it, but cherished by those who do

His wit invites you by his looks to come,
But when you knock, it never is at home.

His wit invites you by his looks to come,
But when you knock, it never is at home.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is read more

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

A play is made by sensing how the forces in life simulate ignorance-you set free the concealed irony, the deadly read more

A play is made by sensing how the forces in life simulate ignorance-you set free the concealed irony, the deadly joke.