I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care read more

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

But ere we could arrive the point proposed,
Caesar cried, 'Help me, Cassius, or I sink!'

But ere we could arrive the point proposed,
Caesar cried, 'Help me, Cassius, or I sink!'

Truths would you teach, or save a sinking land?
All fear, none aid you, and few understand.

Truths would you teach, or save a sinking land?
All fear, none aid you, and few understand.

A sceptre snatched with an unruly hand
Must be as boisterously maintained as gained,
And he that read more

A sceptre snatched with an unruly hand
Must be as boisterously maintained as gained,
And he that stands upon a slippery place
Makes nice of no vile hold to stay him up.

The careful pilot of my proper woe.

The careful pilot of my proper woe.

Something that has always puzzled me all my life is why, when I
am in special need of help, read more

Something that has always puzzled me all my life is why, when I
am in special need of help, the good deed is usually done by
somebody on whom I have no claim.

Self-help must precede help from others. Even for making certain of help from heaven, one has to help oneself.

Self-help must precede help from others. Even for making certain of help from heaven, one has to help oneself.

I want to help you to grow as beautiful as God meant you to be
when he thought of read more

I want to help you to grow as beautiful as God meant you to be
when he thought of you first.

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can read more

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Into his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.