You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form.

Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form.

To hold the same views at forty as we held at twenty is to have been stupefied for a score read more

To hold the same views at forty as we held at twenty is to have been stupefied for a score of years, and take rank, not as a prophet, but as an unteachable brat, well birched and none the wiser.

The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in seventy or eighty years. Your read more

The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.

I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away read more

I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too.

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil.

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil.

When you become senile, you won't know it.

When you become senile, you won't know it.

Not till the fire is dying in the grate, Look we for any kinship with the stars. Oh, wisdom never read more

Not till the fire is dying in the grate, Look we for any kinship with the stars. Oh, wisdom never comes when it is gold, And the great price we paid for it full worth: We have it only when we are half earth. Little avails that coinage to the old!