A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.

A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.

Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that's really where you wish they were.

Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that's really where you wish they were.

Write the bad things that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you read more

Write the bad things that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble.

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.

Man is not logical and his intellectual history is a record of mental reserves and compromises. He hangs on to read more

Man is not logical and his intellectual history is a record of mental reserves and compromises. He hangs on to what he can in his old beliefs even when he is compelled to surrender their logical basis.

Ignorance of one's misfortunes is clear gain.

Ignorance of one's misfortunes is clear gain.

Character must be kept bright as well as clean.

Character must be kept bright as well as clean.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual read more

Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanor as soon as any man tries to draw you out. Unless, of course, he's the pilot.