Maxioms Pet

X

Maxioms by Jon Stewart

  ( comments )
  26  /  28  

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

  ( comments )
  37  /  63  

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American read more

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.

  ( comments )
  39  /  49  

Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason read more

Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe they keep him only in loyalty oath audiences, is if he becomes angry, I do believe he turns into the Hulk. And so, they try and keep people from questioning him, because he'll just -- the shirt rips, and suddenly he has hair. So he's been my favorite, because he just goes out there to a room full of supporters and says, 'You know we're all going to die, right?' You're going to die unless I'm in charge.'

  ( comments )
  37  /  27  

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and read more

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a bit of a fat cat. Unlike the President who — as we all know — before attending Andover and Yale, was a Cockney matchstick girl dying of tuberculosis.

  ( comments )
  12  /  21  

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.'

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.'

by Jon Stewart Found in: Bombs Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet