H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense that we respect his theory that his wife read more

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

The human race is divided into two sharply differentiated and mutually antagonistic classes, almost two genera- a small minority that read more

The human race is divided into two sharply differentiated and mutually antagonistic classes, almost two genera- a small minority that plays with ideas and is capable of taking them in, and a vast majority that finds them painful, and is thus arrayed against them, and against all who have traffic with them. The intellectual heritage of the race belongs to the minority, and to the minority only. The majority has no more to do with it than it has to do with ecclesiastic politics on Mars. In so far as that heritage is apprehended, it is viewed with enmity. But in the main it is not apprehended at all.

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all other philosophers are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I read more

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all other philosophers are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.